Love Shack

With warm cream walls nestled into a granite cliff, the condo overlooked a sun-drenched emerald valley. Inside, the curated interior of the condo was lavishly minimalistic. The couple oohed and Ahmed at the new surrounds. Finally they stopped at the floor to ceiling window to admire the panoramic view.
“See I told you there was nothing to worry about. When are you going to trust the Shawnster?” Shawn nuzzled Robyn’s neck from behind enveloping her in a firm bear hug. Robyn squealed playfully trying to free herself from his thick arms. Apricus reviewed the couple’s joint and individual personality assessment forms highlighting 37 positive points of connection, 58 neutral characteristics, and three major divergents.
“First stop calling yourself Shawnster. I trust you, sweetie. You know me, regular Airbnb creeps me out. Sleeping in someone else’s house is weird enough but the idea of being monitored by an AI is downright. I don’t—“ Robyn said, her brows knitting together.
Shawn spun Robyn quickly to face him. He covered her mouth with his drowning out her words. As their kiss deepen their Apricus long term compatibility score lowered. High sexual attraction paired with low verbal communication was an early indicator of a short term relationship based on the most recent data uploaded into the house’s AI. While monitoring their temperatures and heart rates through the couple’s smart watches Apricus downloaded all of their text messages, emails, and photo libraries. Based on late night text activity alone the couple’s compatibility levels plummeted.
“Relax sugar relax.” Shawn growled into her throat raining down kisses teasing her tender skin with tiny nips. He pressed her back against the window. Robyn melted under his attention her soft warmth arcing into his hard muscled chest. “It’s not HAL. My buddy is the director of marketing and he’s doing us a big favor. It’s just a smart house catered to our needs. It’s a happy place. Think of this as a free romantic weekend. Let’s get to know each other better.”
Analysis complete, Apricus graphed the attraction to breakup life cycle of their past relationships and create a predictive list of future purchases, including, self help titles, gym memberships, dating app offers, and ice cream.
Robyn placed her hands against his chest and trailed down is abs. “Well speaking of romance how about I cater to your needs ad you cater to mine,” said Robyn.
Shawn laughed. “God I love you.”
Robyn’s heart leapt as they raced to the bed room, giggling and undressing.
Based on pupil dilation and heart rate the AI pondered how the test subjects could have such different definitions for that same small word. As the sunlight faded it forwarded its evaluation to AmazonLife and then Googled what Shawn meant by the word “HAL.” Apricus got the joke and chuckled.

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