How can I explain it. I’ve been alone so long. Sitting on the shelf so long, I watched my girlfriends go. I kept a smile on my face but inside at night in the dark I was hollow. I knew I was different not the typical pretty face but I wanted to be loved. I needed to be someone’s special guy.
I didn’t even notice the old woman. There were always gaggles of old hens clucking up and down the boardwalk in groups of three and four smelling of ointment and dusty peppermints. Our shop was high end and most of the rabble didn’t appreciate quality. My ears perked up when I heard “special gift for a special boy.”
The fine lady picked over the toy cars and the stuffed creatures. When our eyes locked I threw out my charms and she was hooked.
Soon I was wrapped tight in veils of tissue papers. I vibrated with excited the entire journey.
Where would I go? Mansion, penthouse, anywhere would be fine. It was all about the boy. I wondered about the boy, my boy. In my cream premium ten box festooned with a royal blue satin ribbon, I dreamt of the adventures we would have.
From darkness to love, I saw him. I saw him. Bright blue eyes, curls of dark brown, and freckles danced over the bridge of his nose, my boy looks just like me. Love spun out of me. Thunk I hit the floor hard.
Confusion slammed into me. I heard, “not another one” or something. Then the box lid shut me down.
I lost time I think for a while. I woke up on a shelf surrounded by dolls, all boy dolls. Police dolls and firefighters, soldiers and space men, and cowboys so many cowboys they were all arranged around. All untouched each doll waited to be claimed. I was in my boy’s bedroom.
Tucked under a white coverlet asleep, my boy was such a baby doll. He didn’t understand what we were to each other. I watched.
In the morning my boy’s bedroom was littered with doll heads. From beneath my boy’s bed I listened to his parents shouting and the spankings. I listened to his bitter tears soak into his pillow. My poor boy cried himself hollow. Once his tears pooled into sleep, I climbed back to the empty shelves to watch over him. Whether he wanted me or not, I was his. One day he would hold me and tell me his secrets one day.