The Other Jack

“Sir do you know why we are stopping you?” PC Oberon asked by the side of the road.
“I’ve done nothing wrong, Officer. I don’t know why I’m being detained. I wasn’t speeding.” Grinning broadly, Jack drummed his fingers on his steering wheel to the beat of the music playing on the radio. Wiry and young, the driver had a mop of inky black hair topped with a cap at a rakish angle.
“Can I see your license, registration, and proof of insurance?” The cop kept his tone neutral but his eyes sharp. He took in the cluttered car complete with empty food wrappers and opened cans of chili. The driver rooted through a gym bag and pulled out a few cards.
“Here you go officer. May I ask what’s the hold up? I have to see a guy about a horse.”
“Sir, it says here your name is Tom,” the cop spoke carefully.
“Sure sure you can call me Thomas, you can call me Tommy, but just don’t call me late to dinner.” Forced laughter blared from the station wagon.
Oberon walked around the vehicle.
“Step out of the vehicle, sir.”
The driver spluttered.
“Sir this license says you are a 47 year old ginger and 6 inches tall.”
“I grew.”
PC Oberon sighed heavily. “Also we have been getting reports all night about someone matching your description prowling around around the Fairy Hill district.”
“Prowling me, I spent the whole night with my best mates, Spratt and Be Nimble, eating buffalo wings and watching the big game. Honest to God, Officer.”
“Dispatch also got a call regarding a breakin at the FeeFiFoFums’ house. Something about golden eggs, and a big golden egg laying goose. A goose very similar to the bird you have duck-taped in that gym bag.”
“Won’t that be goose taped?” the driver chortled. “That gander came with the car, hand to heart.”
“I can also see a beanstalk stained axe on your backseat that appears to be related to the cut marks on the giants’ beanstalk.” PC Oberon made notes in his book.
“Well who are you going to believe me or your lying eyes,” The driver said.
“That was the worst assassination attempt I’ve seen. Have you ever even cut down a giant magical beanstalk? You have use a magic chainsaw. Eveyone know that.”
The driver shrugged. The goose wiggled out of the gym bag and hopped on to the passenger seat. She laid a golden egg.
“Step out the vehicle, sir.”

Photo by Annari du Plessis on

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